At the age of nineteen, I faced my first unplanned pregnancy. I knew nothing about abortion however I never once considered it. After the initial shock of learning that I was three months pregnant, I firmly made the decision to parent my child. Being raised in the church, I was ashamed of being pregnant out of wedlock so the father and I were married two months later. In October of that year, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
Unfortunately, my husband had an affair eighteen months into our marriage. In an attempt to get revenge, I had an affair and got pregnant by the other guy. I was even more ashamed to be carrying a child by another man and haunted by the fear of others finding out. I didn’t want to bring another child in to our complicated life nor was I sure how to raise two small children.
I went to the doctor who encouraged me to make a decision, yet I didn’t trust anyone to help me process everything. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months as I cried, slept and prayed about my dilemma. At almost twenty weeks, I chose to abort my second child. I had to be hospitalized because I was so far along. The doctor induced labor and when my child came out the nurse said, “It’s a girl.” I had to have a blood transfusion from losing so much blood. It took days for me to recover.
I suffered for 25 years from the pain of my abortion – crying, deeply depressed and physically ill. November 8, 2010 I entered a post-abortion Bible study where the Lord revealed the reason for my suffering. I was healed completely – emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. For the past eight years, I’ve had the privilege to speak to countless women about abortion, offering hope and healing through Christ.
I will never forget my abortion and I can’t change my past decision. I refuse to allow my past to paralyze me any longer. Every day I choose to help others silently suffering from the shame, guilt and regret of abortion, offering hope and healing. I truly believe there is freedom in Christ because who the Son sets free is free indeed! If you need to talk to someone who understands please call the International Helpline 866-482-LIFE (5433)