At the age of 18, my life dramatically altered when I chose to have an abortion. I was not the same person when I walked out of that clinic. I left that abortion clinic an empty, shattered young woman, and I had no idea the depth of pain that I would endure.
Many people might question, why then would you choose to have an abortion? I didn’t realize how much I already loved my baby until the moment he was gone. You see, God has designed women to nurture and protect their children, not to harm them. When I allowed my baby’s life to be taken by abortion, it went against everything that God had supernaturally placed within me.
I asked Jesus into my heart at the age of 15, and the Scripture that I clung to was Hebrews 13:5, where the Lord has promised never to leave nor forsake me, and He never has. When I was 16 years old, even though I had never been sexually active, I asked my mom what she would do if I ever got pregnant. Her naïve response to me was, “Well, that would be it. You’d be out of the house, out of the family.” My mom only said that to me as a scare tactic so that I would not find myself in that predicament. She didn’t mean a word of it, as she told me years later. That, coupled with my boyfriend’s response, “What are YOU going to do?” left me feeling alone and very afraid. I thought I had to fix it to be still accepted and loved.
I had heard that abortion was a quick and easy solution. I sincerely believed that I could have an abortion, pretend it never happened, and I’d be able to move forward with my life and forget about it. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
We got married two years later, and it seemed the moment we returned from our honeymoon, I began having migraine headaches for the first time in my life. The pain was so debilitating and so severe, and I was put on a powerful medication that would have me sleeping for many hours at a time. I began having nightmares and flashbacks to the abortion experience, but there was nothing I could do. No one knew my secret, and my husband didn’t want to talk about it. He said it was in the past and we couldn’t change it. I spent day after day crying alone in my room, begging God to forgive me for what I’d done, but never truly believing that He would. I thought I committed the unforgivable sin. I also tried for two years to conceive, but could not.
It’s a lengthy story, but God stepped in and miraculously healed me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. He healed my headaches, opened my womb, and brought me back into a right relationship with Him!
Not long after, I went through a Bible study called Forgiven and Set Free where God continued my healing process and restored me fully. I have since led these studies for 25 years, guiding other women through the healing process following an abortion.
God desires that we would be set free from our sin, shame, and guilt by trusting Him alone for our redemption. God alone is willing and able to restore us completely! God has called me to share my story so that women might choose life for their babies, and for women who have chosen abortion that they would find hope, forgiveness, and healing in Jesus Christ.
Lori and Randy have been married since 1985 and have been abundantly blessed with two sons and two daughters and six grandchildren! Lori’s passion is to help women find restoration and healing in Jesus Christ! Lori is now serving on the International Helpline for Abortion & Recovery, giving her another opportunity to share her story and encourage others.