I had an abortion when I was 21 years old. I did not have a close relationship with my immediate family or with God even though we went to church often. I had very low self-esteem and was rebellious. While working at a family owned business, I confided to someone close that I was pregnant; she told me about her abortion and suggested that it might be my best option and that she would drive me to the clinic. I agreed because I just wanted someone to help me. I didn’t want to tell my parents because I felt like I was already a disappointment to them. I was scared and I let fear drive my decision-making.
The day of my abortion, the driver dropped me off and picked me up. I have very little memory of the details; I do recall giving a false name on the forms and then after feeling non-emotional and very alone, like something was turned off inside me.
I developed an eating disorder due to physical and emotional abuse in my first marriage. We had two sons but the abuse continued. I look back now and there were other signs I should have seen before getting married. Family members knew of the abuse and they said they would help but it never happened. I always thought there was no way out but God heard my cry. My husband kept me isolated from my family but when I told a sister about the abuse, she and her husband helped me and my boys get out.
I remarried and have 2 more boys. My husband and I have been married 19 years and he has been a good and loving husband to me and good and loving father to all 4 boys.
I met someone from the local Pregnancy Care Center. I had no idea what a pregnancy care center was or what they did. After reading and hearing about their services, I knew The Lord was bringing things to the surface that had been buried so He could bring healing. I was given information about a healing group and immediately said “yes.” His Word brought freedom in areas of my heart!. And continues to! I heard the words “Its Time” and knew it was The Lord; so I began training at the Center. Before that I felt so inadequate and didn’t believe I could do it…but God’s Grace is always there!
I look back and see a downward spiral after my abortion…to an abusive marriage, eating disorder and depression but as I read Psalm 40:1-3 with thankfulness and overwhelming joy!..”I waited patiently for The Lord....; He heard me... and He lifted me up....; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.“
Sandra volunteers as an advocate at the Pregnancy Care Center in her area. She is married and has 4 boys.