I always considered being raised in a pastor’s home a privilege. I grew to love the Lord and accepted Him as my personal Savior at the age of 12. Soon after, we moved to another state and my life changed. It was hard to start high school and make new friends. Everyone already had their friends. A guy from church showed interest in me and we soon fell in love. We ended up pregnant and married at a young age. After 4 years of marriage, my husband was injured and left the military. As he was looking for another job I got pregnant again. He insisted I get an abortion. Every fiber of my being resisted but I eventually gave in after he said he would divorce me if I didn’t. It is hard to describe how I felt afterward. The first thought that came to me was I was a slut! I eventually was able to push my feelings of regret down and went on with life. My marriage was very turbulent after that and we eventually divorced.
After being a single mom for a couple of years, I married a Christian man who valued and supported me. We had 2 children of our own and life was good. My heart was drawn to the local Pregnancy Center where I taught a new mom’s class, “Caring for your baby”. This was a God given opportunity to show Christ’s love to young families. I was asked by one of the staff if I had ever had an abortion. All of the sudden I was confronted with the truth; I wanted to deny it but couldn’t. She suggested a Bible study which helped me to go through the grieving process. The guilt and shame have been replaced with forgiveness from God and from myself. After a period of time, I was able to share my story with others. It has given me the courage to reach out to more and share the redeeming love that Jesus gives each of us if we willingly accept it. As I continue my healing journey I pray I can help others see how God sees them so they can begin their own healing journey.