“Thank God for his mercy. He has brought me out of the darkness into His light.”
In the dark arena of abortion there is nothing but lies, death, and heartache. No one tells the truth of the mental and spiritual anguish that comes with the choice of abortion. They say it is our choice - for it is our body. No one acknowledges that that choice brings death for an innocent child and breathes death into the mother’s spirit. No one talks about the fact after the abortion she will find herself in such a dark pit of guilt and shame that overwhelms her to the point of such grief and heartache that she can’t function properly in everyday life.
How do I know? That describes me after I chose death instead of life for my children. In 1986 I found myself pregnant and all alone. This child was not conceived in an act of love. He was conceived after someone from my past showed up at my door - drunk and took advantage of me. Fear and shame overwhelmed me. I just could not imagine myself connected to this man in any way let alone try to parent a child with him.
I flipped open the phone book, found an abortion clinic, and asked my girlfriend to drive me. It was over and done with before I let myself even think about what I was doing. Somehow I tried to rationalize my decision and convinced myself it was not a baby yet and that it was just a blob of tissue. The women at the clinic lead me to believe I was making the right decision. Weeks passed and I found myself depressed and numb as I tried to forget what I did.
Statistics say that a woman that experiences an abortion is most likely to have two or more before age of 45. Usually there are at least one or more years between the abortions. Well, I found myself in that statistic with one rare twist . . . my second abortion happened within in a few months after my first.
I was dating my current husband Brad. Out of a need to feel loved and wanted and after all that happened to me, we started having a physical relationship, which resulted in another pregnancy.
Once more fear set in. Without thinking and allowing us to feel anything, we chose to abort our child. In both cases it seemed to be a simple solution to a problem, which is another lie within the pro-choice movement.
My shame increased because that same night after the second abortion. I ended up in the hospital with a fever and overwhelming pain due to an incomplete abortion and had to have a DNC. My heart sank and tears began to fall as I heard what the doctor said and reality set in . . . I killed my baby, I killed my children! The only children I will ever have are in heaven because for them I chose death instead of life!
To be honest that time in my life is still unclear but I experienced actually three traumas in a short period of time. I was taken advantage of and I experienced two abortions back to back. For years I lived in a pit of internal hell filled with self-hatred, shame and guilt.
Thank God for his mercy. He has brought me out of the darkness into his light. It has taken me over twenty years to understand that God’s grace covers all sin, including abortion. God reached down into my pit and lifted me up and set my feet on a solid rock. There I could see His face filled with compassion - there in His love. I found forgiveness. So I want to encourage anyone who has experienced an abortion with these words. God loves you and wants to help you and he is waiting for you to turn and take His hand so He can lift you out of your pit and give you life. He did it for me and He will do it for you. All you have to do is run to Him and stop running away from Him. He is calling you out of the pit into the light. Let me encourage you to call the International Helpline for Abortion Recovery at 866-482-Life anytime day or night. There is someone there who understands and will help you take the first step.
Sherry has been a phone consultant for The International Helpline for Abortion Recovery and Prevention, since 2007 and she has answered over 1000 calls from all across the nation and world. She became part of Concepts of Truth International, administrative staff and is the Director of the Ohio Office of Concepts of Truth, founded in 2010.
Sherry is one of the staff writers of Concepts of Recovery The Journey, an mental health curriculum recovery model that is endorsed by Focus on The Family. She is a trained facilitator and the Int’l Training Director for Concepts of Truth and is active in developing and training leaders in reproductive loss including abortion. She shares her testimony in churches, small groups, organizations and has presented at the United Nations. Her story of redemption and grace has been told on radio, television and newspapers encouraging others to come forward and heal.
Sherry is married to Brad Neuenschwander. They own and operate a small family business. They both are involved in their local church and been involved in missions in Liberia Africa.